discuss Lending to your father/mother

[Oshawott]

How do you handle lending money to your father/mother?

Sometimes, I have this problem of deciding if I should ask the money back? At one point, I think that it is rightfully to be asked back, at other point I think we shouldnt ask back because they toiled in the past to educate us and to give us a good standard of living and everything we do for them after a particular age should be out of love.

 

[Harsh World]

If they're using it for living expenses or other emergency needs? Not a problem, as I know they would do the same if the roles were reversed.

If you know they are using it for other things — gambling, alcohol, drugs — then you shouldn't enable them and cut them off.

My mom raised us on credit cards and by the time I was 25 or so, she had just as much debt as she racked up because she was only making the minimum payment. She would've easily paid 4 or 5 times over on her credit card and not have it paid off, even then, if it weren't for me. I paid it off in full and told her never to open another credit card again, to which she hasn't over a decade later.

The only debt she has now is a mortgage that she took over when her mom died with incredible lending terms (since we were sub-2% around then) compared to what rent (or new terms on the higher value) on it would be current day. She's able to manage that just fine. However, I told her if she ever thinks that she needs to put something on credit, to call me first.

There are sleazy people out there doing home repairs for low monthly costs (and high interest rates) that make it tempting to accept the offer, but what they don't tell you in their contract is if you fail to make payments, they put a lien on the house and try to (in many cases, do) take the whole house from right up under you.

 

[King Belieal]

Whenever a family member asks me to lend them money and I do, I count such funds as non refundable. I can't go ask my siblings, my parents or close cousins for a debt. If I lend my parents money, I zero my mind and forget about it. If they pay me back, fine. If they don't, it is still fine.

 

[Yama]

I don't lend money to my parents, I give them. However, when I am giving them money I always ask why they need it. If they need something, I would buy it for them instead of giving them money. Sometimes when I need money and they have it, I ask for money. It is give and take for us. However, most of the time it is me who gives them money.

 

[Zokay]

• Lending to a parent can be a delicate matter—it's important to approach it with respect and clarity.
• Set clear terms if needed, but always prioritize the relationship over the money.
• Open communication helps avoid misunderstandings and maintains trust on both sides

 

[Maina]

Giving money to your parents isn’t lending, it’s support and care. I see it as helping family without expecting repayment, because they’ve always been there for you. It’s a different kind of giving.